A good road map towards mental well-being, I recently learnt, involves tracing out and working through the tensions and traumas we continue to carry in our physical bodies. It is only when we allow ourselves space to experience the uncomfortable and often dark emotions that we are able to listen to what Kafui Awonoor, yogi and healer at Holding Space, calls the wisdom of our bodies. “We can rely on our bodies to help us heal,” says Awonoor on mental well-being in the time of COVID-19.
It is very easy to be hard on yourself for not having the answers about what happens next as the government tries to maintain the spread of the virus, but Awonoor reminds me before we part on a live Facebook conversation about mental well-being, that it is time to start practising compassion towards myself “and remember to breathe”, she adds. I sigh deeply and realize that since my agitation over the virus, I have stopped taking deep breaths, which happens when I’m very stressed. “When your body isn’t getting enough oxygen it is likely to not feel well and the only way you actually put oxygen in your body is if you breathe through the diaphragm (making sure the air reaches your belly). A lot of the discomfort we are feeling in our bodies is because we aren’t breathing properly and sufficiently. You need to breathe for the oxygen to penetrate and go into every single cell in every part of your body,” she explains.
When we’re able to breathe and practise mindfulness, it is easy for us to be in touch with our emotions without judging them. Many of us aren’t in touch with our emotions because we grew up without ever learning that emotion is an essential and necessary part of the human experience, instead, we consider it weakness and suppress it. “We need this time [the 21-day lockdown] to stop using work, relationships, alcohol, parties, sex, food, as suppressants for whatever it is that you don’t want to deal with,” says Kafui. “We are yet to learn that whatever you are going through is okay, that you don’t have to run from it, that it is not permanent, and that if you learn how to be with whatever is happening you will learn healthy coping mechanisms instead of escaping your emotions,” says Kafui.
In addition to overturning the tide on numbing emotion, we also have to over the stigma attached to asking for help. “We are taught that we ought to help people, but somehow we’re also conditioned to think that it’s not okay for us to ask help,” says Kafui. Instead of using the 21 days of the lockdown to feeling alienated, anxious and sad, we should rather try to focus on improving our mental well-being, which often includes asking for help. “If someone messages you and asks how you doing, say when you are not okay,” adds Awonoor.
The uncertain future of COVID-19 and it’s societal implications seem like fertile ground for anxiety to thrive. Head of general hospital psychiatry, senior lecturer and principal specialist at the University of Cape Town’s department of psychiatry and mental health, Dr Qhama Cossie, says that anxiety is a perfectly normal response to something that’s unexpected and unpredictable and that everyone is justified to feel anxious given the circumstances around the spread of the virus. “As a psychiatrist I’d be worried if people weren’t anxious about what’s going on. We should only worry about anxiety when it becomes excessive and prevents us from performing daily functions and fulfiling our roles like work, feeding children, taking care of ourselves, being unable to socialise with people and when you’re struggling to sleep”. Dr Cossie recommends that you become adamant about establishing a good sleep hygiene pattern that will help stabilize your moods. “Don’t binge on Netflix and sleep at 4am, for example,” he adds.
To avoid excessive anxiety, Dr Cossie suggests reaching out to family and friends and letting them know how you are feeling. Reaching out to people and telling them about your anxiety is likely to make you feel less alone and less anxious, as you’ll soon discover that it is an okay and shared experience. Another to do to avert excessive anxiety is exercise. “Even if we’re not allowed to do much outside our yards, you must still do something to move around”, he says. “Put on your favourite song and dance, or clean your house. You’ll be surprised how decluttering and moving around the house can entail a lot of moving,” adds Awonoor.
“If you live alone, this could be a lonely time, but the upside of that is that you have your entire space to yourself,” says Awonoor. “Family and friends can be helpful to those struggling with mental illness and are alone at this time by ensuring regular communication and check-ins,” says Dr Cossie. “Sometimes you don’t have to see a person to communicate with them. If you pray, pray for that person. If you meditate, meditate and send love to that person. Send a little message every day, or a video of you doing a silly dance. You might not get the reaction immediately, but trust that it impacts them to know that there are people out there who care,” says Kafui.
It’s also just as important for families to allow everyone space to be alone, to avoid blowing steam off each other. As for those hoping to use this time to build a business and complete projects, Kafui recommends that you also take the time out to do nothing, get some rest and learn mindfulness.
Cutting down on social media and news consumption is paramount to maintaining one’s sanity. “There is a lot of misinformation out there about the virus that could lead to a lot of excessive and unnecessary anxiety, so cutting down on social media will go a long way towards one’s mental health,” says Dr Cossie. Kafui recommends that you allocate your time accordingly, “either cut yourself off on certain days, or certain times of the day. Set specific times aside when your phone is not on. You don’t need to know everything that’s happening every second that it’s happening”. She suggests that you not check your phone as the first thing you do in the morning or the last thing you do before you sleep. Instead, she suggests you make a mental note of three things you are grateful for before you reach for your phone or close your eyes to sleep.
If you need help or someone to talk you through or out of your anxiety, reach out to the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) at 0800 456 789. Women and children at risk of abuse can call the Gender-Based Violence Command Centre at 0800 150 150 for police assistance. And if your anxiety or mental well-being is severe and you find yourself needing medical treatment, remember that health services are essential and remain open even during the lockdown.